"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
