It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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