theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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