Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
