What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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