you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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