I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
