I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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