I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
