kristin has been a bad kristin
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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