I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I need to align my fucking chakras
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
