I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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