you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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