He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
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