My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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