could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
