I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
