Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
So apparently I’m into choking now
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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