i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
