I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
