For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
