why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
