So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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