It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
