before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
