Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
