My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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