I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
smell my finger.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
