Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
