i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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