I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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