This show inspires me to have sex in space
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
