My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
