i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
