omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
