Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
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