did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
