the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
