I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
