I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
