Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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