I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
