He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
