The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
