They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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