My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
