If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
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