is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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