I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
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