He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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