That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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