I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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